so things have been insane. we are getting married on may 5th at the great hall of champlain college at trent university (a beautiful example of 60s architecture), and this week is the week where all the things that should have been done in the last six months are supposed to get done. like booking a dj, officiant, finding a non-denominational church, figuring out a colour scheme, invitations/guestlist, finding a fucking dress--which by the way takes a minimum of 12-14 weeks as i was told by the snobby bridal shop lady. and everything is so expensive!

anyways, besides that i've been attempting to spend gift card money at the crap that is abercrombie and fitch. who the hell would buy that shit? so far, i've settled on track pants. but it's hard to spend $80 on track pants even if it is gift card money. brock's mom went insane and got all of his gifts from there, and the guy won't touch the stuff (it is too ugly and immature). i traded my futureshop card with him, but i'm starting to regret the decision.

i also picked up bloodletting and miraculous cures last week, which was a good book. it wasn't blow-your-mind great or anything, but it was a good read. i can see why it won the Giller Prize. it also provides fascinating information about SARS and the Canadian healthcare system. i'm currently reading das parfum.

we went and saw children of men on friday and it was awesome.

so is lego star wars II.

so i haven't posted in a while. i just can't do it where i normally would (work) till i wear in the new job a bit and get totally lax about work ethic. actually, i'm almost there.

there are so many cool things about my new job, but i just can't say it here. so. so. cool.

this morning, in the christmas spirit, i decided not to spend money on myself, and spent some on brock instead. i went to best buy and picked him up an xbox 360, and threw in gears of war and lego star wars II cause i'm awesome like that. then i went and made up for this brief bit of generosity by buying myself a pair of cords.

when i brought it into the office, it was like bringing catnip to cats. the kind that like catnip that is. guys were hovering, exclaiming, pressuring for the box to be opened and for the system to be 'tested' in the lounge. guys are insane. so insane in fact, that i didn't leave my desk for fear of something happening, and ended up without my morning coffee or food. i eventually called brock to pick it up so i could get on with my day. and go to the washroom (there was at least a big jug of water on my desk). merry xmas!

tomorrow i have to go to the eaton centre and i am excited. it will be a challenge, and i will overcome. watching brock play gears of war all night is preparing me for the madness.

why is the 10% of my life that this blog portrays always the most selfish and materialistic part??? (er, probably more like 40%).

anyways.

why do i always get cat scratches on my face? brock has them too, and they're not like anger scratches, but they're more along the lines of let me run at the wall at a suicide pace and use your face as a springboard kind of thing. anyways, i'm starting my new job tomorrow, with a couple of serious slashes on my face and neck. and it looks lame to use cover-up for them.

no more publishing! actually, it wasn't all that bad. in retrospect, it will probably seem like a sweet deal. but what can i say? more money, less problems. lame.

this morning, it probably would have been better to wear socks with my heels, rather than go bare. considering the snow and all. is it possible to get sick in 20 minutes?

also, it probably would have been better to just call a cab. the bus not only got into an accident, but it got into an accident with 40 12 year olds on their way to the ontario science centre. so we had to wait outside in the bitter cold (no socks) for the next bus, then all cram in.

i was in such a bad mood about the whole ordeal, that when some middle-aged woman asked me to use my cellphone to call her work, i told her that it was broken. she even offered me a dollar.

then i felt guilty for the rest of the ride.

now i'm at work, with one more day to go. with absolutely no motivation and a bunch of projects to wrap up. and knowing that i'm going to have to cram all weekend to relearn data analysis and spss.

i think that only a burrito from burrito boyz could make this day better.

my fingers smell like garlic from the spaghetti sauce i made last night and i feel like a perve cause i keep waving them in front of my face and smelling them secretly. they smell interesting, and i can't help it. its compulsive.

there is a flu clinic today and i can't bring myself to attend. i've never gotten the shot, and am resistant to putting chemical cocktails into my body. there is something about the attitude of some people, where they go to the doctor for anything and take everything recommended for their multitudes of illnesses (vitamin deficiency, mild depression, add, blahblahblah) that kinda repulses me. i dunno, but i think that a lot of the medication out there for people my age is kind of unneccesary, and you're better off eating well and exercising than taking the latest medication. there has to be some long-lasting effects to taking everything and anything prescribed.

like a true junky, i watched most of the liberal convention and hung at the edge of my seat awaiting results. i wanted kennedy to win, but was fine with dion. i have nothing against ignatieff or ray per se but i think they bring too much baggage, not enough liberal party experience, and in one case, true residential citizenship to qualify. kennedy would have been good, because Toronto needs a candidate that can understand and advocate the needs of such a large city (5.9 million) and can appeal to the west, but at least he'll have a good say in dions future cabinet.

anyways. back to work. i just ordered a bunch of books from penguin that need to be sorted through.

Tara says:
so i got this little heater, and my shoes are wet, so i propped them against the heater and now the entire row on either side of me smells like stinky feet

Tara says:
i'm surprised no one has complained

Tara says:
it just lets you know how willing the people who work here are to put up with such a rank thing

so when i described a textbook yesterday as one that had been "pimped out" at the lunch table, because of all the add-ons and supplements it had, i was met by a total blank stare and asked to repeat the term. so i did, feeling a bit like an idiot, but she still didn't get it and asked me to repeat it again. then she asked me what it meant.

so this is why i am leaving this place. well, not the primary reason, but honestly, if you don't get the term "pimped out" then you are not in my generation. or even attempting to understanding my generation. i am pretty positive that i am the youngest person in this entire company. the largest publishing company in Canada and the world. what makes it brutal is that our largest market is university students, in my age group, and while the term "pimped out" is not necesarily awesome, knowing it or things like it would at least show an interest in the market. but that would be too easy.

anyways...

it's like once that notice is handed in any existence of motivation is completely wiped out. i know that there is still work to do, but i really don't care. i'd rather surf the net.

we saw the fountain this weekend and it was brutal. well, i dunno. you invest a lot into it emotionally, but then it gets kinda overwrought and then you feel bitter about investing emotions and it was such a simple concept that all of the best parts were in the trailer. according to brock.

james bond was awesome though. i dunno if i wrote about it (and am too lazy to check), but i saw it on thursday and i loved it. i shied away from the other bonds because they were so incredibly cliche. pierce brosnan was basically a disney bond (and way better as thomas crown). and don't even get me started on halle berry. i love daniel craig. and he is one super hot man. (wow. just wow.)

other than that, we spent money this weekend on brock. i basically have to drag him physically into stores and then bully him into buying clothes, but this weekend he seemed open to the concept. i think it has something to do with my upcoming pay raise and the fact that i made the purchases. it was funny, cause we made the purchases on buy-nothing day, and we really haven't made any purchases like that for quite a while. whatever.

oh, and we played monopoly this weekend and brock basically kicked my ass. i had a real run of bad luck, ending up on income tax every time around the board, landing in jail twice, and always getting caught on the railroads (brock, who landed on all 4 before me, gladly collected the $200 in rent). i have to say that it was not a great showing.