i am moving tomorrow.....movingmovingmoving....i might make a film and post the experience. you could then see the sweet digs we are leaving, and the tinytiny apartment we are moving into.

sigh.

i am joining a soccer team with two guys from the department. they were glad to have me even though i told them i totally suck. as in, worst player on the team kind of suck. apparently though, the need for females trumps the need for talent. also, i've been told that the team is kind of the bad news bears of the league. funfunfun. and i love the cool kneepads you get to wear in soccer.

i hate that my cubicle is next to the water cooler. it really makes you despise the way people walk, as well as their hydrating methods....

be assertive, shufflers!

use a glass cup, paper cup users!

go fuck yourselves, people who are constantly refilling and peeking into my cubicle!

...and this is what my life has been reduced to.

I'm moving on Saturday and I can just imagine the headache that will be. I wish there was a seamless way to move, where internet and cable and phone lines and furniture that needs to be put together all magically comes together and exists on the day I come in. I'm the type of person too where boxes from moving never get unpacked and clothes are just thrown on a random pile on the floor to be organized at a later date that seems to arrive months later.

In other words, lazy.

I think I may be able to take advantage of the new internet that Toronto is blanketing over the downtown area for free though. Actually, I know I can, because I am moving downtown. I finally figured out the area too, its in and around Queen Street West. At Richmond and Spadina. A block or so from the Horseshoe, from CityTV, from that awesome stretch on King, from Caban, from the Paramount Theatre, from oh so many great restaurants. Yum.

The best part is that I have a one year lease...I will live in a house for one year without moving. This has not happened since, oh let me see, I was 17. That is 7 years of being bounced around every 4-8 months from apartment to apartment. What a fucking relief.

Things that are stressing me out right now beyond moving are work and that issue with pork cloning. Work because I am handling way more jobs than what I am capable of doing, or at least doing well, and pork cloning because pork was the last meat I could eat and now I can't do it anymore. I have a total aversion to genetically modified foods, and I know I know I know that pork is probably already modified to a large extent, but now I know for sure and it has completely eradicated my appetite for it. So as of two days ago I can't eat meat and I guess I'm a vegetarian. I'm not ready yet to take an active stance against dairy products, but I've never been able to drink milk, I think eggs are disgusting, and I've never been a fan of cheese. I do, however, like milk chocolate. I haven't put much thought into the whole thing, but I think I'll avoid becoming one of those preachy vegetarians. It's more of a personal aversion to the way things are raised than an attitude towards life.

Oh, and all those stupid protesters coming up to Canada for the seal hunt can go lick my ass. Because of them and their lameness, I am totally for it.

Go Baby Seal Killers!

Keep up the Good Work!

(this may seem totally at odds with my new vegetarian status, but isn't. it is completely logical in my mind. and a twisted mind it is.)

my picture is on the wall of this coffee shop in peterborough that i was working for when some new owners took over. i hate that my picture is on the wall of this coffee shop because i hated that job. the one owner was always trying to give me 'massages' and his wife was a flaming idiot. i hated that job so much that after briefly trying to start a union among the other coffee shop employees i gave my notice that i would be quitting within the week. except that this notice didn't really matter because i walked out in the middle of my shift one day when it was busy and working with the owner who was being condescending even though she could hardly speak english. she got upset and started grabbing me and the customers had to pull her off me while i left. then she chased me down the street.

it lives in infamy in my mind while that picture is still on the wall.

maybe i'll just burn down the shop.

Spike Jonze + Dave_Eggers + Maurice Sendak = The Best Movie Ever Made

so, given my post yesterday about the utter disregard of some people here re: business wear, i decided to wear my jeans today rather than the more acceptable casual friday.

such a rebel.

anyways, my main mistake was choosing to wear my other new hoody from roots with said jeans. so i'm not just wearing jeans with a dressy shirt, thereby making the outfit slighty more classy, but am resembling a student late for class who picked up some clothes from the floor and didn't really see what they were. the messy ponytail and flat slouchy boots don't help either.

i feel so conspicious right now. i'm kinda scared to leave my cubicle, get caught, and get in trouble. not really by anyone in my department, who all dress like they belong in old fusty english offices at a university, but more so by my bosses boss, who i've been doing some projects for lately and who never wears less than dressy business wear. and i'm hungry now, and want to go eat, but the kitchen is all the way at the other end of the building and i know everyone that at least someone will see me and give me a judgemental look.

the kind I would give to someone who is dressed like me today.

this is a classic case of where rage can take you. or, a classic take on where rage takes me.

to very stupid situations.

yesterday i went to the mall to get a present for my friend and i ended up buying two hoodies that were on supersale at roots for myself. a reflection on both my weakness as a friend, and my weakness for clothing. and the thing is, i was like fuck it, i'm gonna wear my new hoody to work today even though its a tuesday and even though we're supposed to be business casual. and you know why? here is why:

there is this girl who comes to work dressed like she just discovered arts culture and wears things like badly fitted overalls or striped stockings with a hippy skirt and basically all that is misshapen and ill-fitting and generally really really ugly. *EDIT* i just went down to the cafeteria to make my morning toast, and SHE was there, wearing, get this, STOCKINGS WITH PICTURE OF CATS SCREENED ON. like WTF????* also, her hair is beyond greasy and super long. just, gross. and she always gives me these looks, like she is either judging me or that she wants to be my friend. and the other day, she was on the same bus as me leaving work, and the frickin girl talked on the cellphone the WHOLE ride like she was the MOST IMPORTANT PERSON ON EARTH. omg i want to punch her in the face.

anyways, if she can have a job here wearing that, then i am somewhat justified in wearing a hoody to work today. anyways, its navy blue and i'm wearing khaki pants, so it doesn't look that bad. in fact, its probably better than what most people in my department are wearing right now.

haha, i totally knew that casey joe and tim were gonna be booted off the vj search tonight and i totally called it. and when they were, i totally got up and danced and was like "IN YOUR FACE casey joe and time, YOU SUCK MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!'" and i felt awesome, but also like a loser.

now for the apprentice...

so we went out and drank too much wine because the party was so bad. you know when you go to a dinner party where you know no one and the guy who is having the party is sitting at another table and all you do is stare awkwardly at the other people and talk about the weather?

except it was so obviously uncomfortable that i found it funny. so i laughed a lot in between staring at the ceiling to avoid making eye contact, but in a mean way i guess. the restaurant was good though, it was called mezzeta and they served mediteranean tapas in a cool way. brock ended up puking. i just fell asleep.

last night we saw V for Vendetta because we are lame and i really liked it. which was a surprise to both brock and me, cause usually i hate anything brock likes. my favourite scene is the end where V blows up the london parliament building. best blow up scene evAr. it was almost orgasmic it was that good.

we are going to mezetta for a birthday dinner tonight with some of brock's lame friends and i'm not sure yet whether i will be a sulky bitch who causes trouble by insulting everyone and anything they hold of value as well as talk about them badly when they are right next to me so they all will hate me OR be a sparkling socialite who makes everyone fall a little bit in love with her. usually it goes one way or the other, but tonight i'm leaning towards bitchiness.

word to the wise....if your cafeteria advertises something called 'irish stew' on st.pattys day, don't fall for it thinking that it's a way to get into the spirit of things. while the soda bread sufficed, and the chocolate guiness pie was disapointing, the irish stew is potentially undermining any plans for drinking tonight...just....don't do it.

brightside? today was the booksale and i killed, pushing old ladies over an all. tara got $250 worth of merchandise for less than $20. including an awesome kit on cocktails with a shaker, and a kit on beers of the world with two pint glasses and an opener.

saweet.

[begin]
-i am going to see franz ferdinand and death cab for cutie play at the ricoh coliseum on april 17th and i hope it will be fun. i haven't been to a concert in forever.
-the person who sits in the cubicle next to mine gossips all day. she's old, so the gossip is boring.
-matt and nat is my new favourite store ever. i bought the rockin white purse.
-i am moving in 17 days. i can't wait to live downtown toronto. rosedale has been fine, but boring. hopefully the queen street west area will be better.
-i am concerned, however, about my new commute, which is made longer now. should i take the spadina streetcar up to spadina on the bloor/danforth line and over to pape, OR walk over to osgoode and go down around to bloor and change over to bloor/danforththere, OR up to st. george and change there? either way, my commute has lengthened.
-i am going to make paella this weekend.
-am i going to end up working at starbucks again in 2 monthes when my contract is up?
-i've made an entire staple sculpture in my cubicle. it rocks.
-urban outfitters has the best pillows. i bought two yesterday.
-i wanted to read blink this week, but brock hijacked it. stupid brock.
-i need to make some more friends here in TO. all i have is highschool leftovers. no one even from university. there should be friend meet and greet online dates or something. i'm a bad friend though. what i need are couple friends, people who understand the needs of a relationship and who can do double dates to watch movies, go to pubs, play boardgames. lame stuff, really.
-tomorrow we are having a book sale, and if you only knew where i worked and the amazing deals i get you'd be super jealous.
[end]

i really wanted to pull the fire alarm at work today but someone beat me.

and the thing goes off and no one cares.

as usual.

i bought some flamboyently orange bowls yesterday from urban outfitters. i can't believe the level of thought that was necessary for this purchase. no thought, however, went into the nerve.com book of 365 positions that i bought.










[this is my mind]

sometimes when i don't wash my jeans for a while and wear them all i can smell is potato chips. it's probably some sort of fungus or bad thing, but i really don't care because dirty jeans are better than clean jeans any day.

that is all.

yesterday this guy came up to me on the crowded 25 bus and told me that the doctor had just diagnosed him with bladder cancer and do i know what that is and is it a bad cancer to have? he was shaking and visibly upset and i didn't really want to talk to someone about this because he could be crazy but i took pity on the poor guy and talked to him for a bit. i mean, what if he had no one to talk to and i just completely shunned him when he heard this bad news? he was older, too. i'm a sucker for older people.

but the whole experience kind of disturbed me.

i'm going to write this post now instead of tonight because i think i'm always more negative at night than in the morning. and cause a grande americano is the key to happiness in this cubicle...

so today the college professors went on strike. normally, this would be no problem for me cause i really don't give a shit about them. however, my job is to work with these guys to review my company's textbooks...so their stupid strike and an inability to get a hold of them makes my job all the harder. because you know why? here is what i'm getting back from email queries:

my email is not working because we are on strike so you can contact me at my aol/hotmail/gmail/sympatico account.

OK. so it's not a huge deal that i'll have to contact them at their home address. but do these guys seriously think that an email server will shut down just cause their on strike? these guys are so out of it (seriously) they probably think that there is a little troll that directs email operations online so it will get to their pretty little inbox. and that this little troll will be out in the picket lines today and that email service will be shut down. gawd, it's enough to drive a person insane.
like me.

i could have worked in an NGO but i hate the kind of people that are attracted to them. I'm not flaky, i'm pretty straight up, to the point. I hate disorganization and swishy skirts that make your ass look huge. It's not everybody, but en masse they're all the kind of people I just can't stand. Swelled with self-importance that what they're doing means more than what other people do, that they in some way have more meaning in their lives than those who would rather watch america's next top model. Anti-fashion, but adhering to just a different set of standards. (hair must be dyed orange/blue/green/purple orbelongorcutsupershort, must have piercings or a hidden tattoo(ornot), must love indie bands) More judgemental than any other people I meet.

assholes.

i'm so tired and drained of energy. computers suck out your soul. fluorescent lights do the same. i tried the curry lays chips and didn't like them. I love Veda. The Korean Grill was cool. Green Mango fine. Hosu was good for lunch. tomorrow its sunset grill. i should be obese by next week.

i also made the best ever tomato sauce: 1 pack of bacon, fry in pot with some water, cook till crispy, pour off drippings, put bacon aside, brown chopped onions, carrots, and celery in remainder of bacon fat, add garlic at the end, pour in can of unsalted crushed tomatoes. eat with baguette and feta. yummy.

i took a lot of pictures today. completely uninspired, valued only for their randomness. i let the neighbors cat into the house today and then i think he thought i was going to kill him and eat him for lunch so he wanted out but allowed me to pet him on the steps outside. he is cool. we're getting a cat next month.

er, yah. life is boring. the most exciting decision i have to make right now is whether or not I should get those side tables from Caban. and the matching desk. because where would the alarm clock go? gad.

we need a television and are searching this weekend. brock wants a big one, because apparently all males need to have big televisions. can you see a 40 inch lcd in a 560 square foot apartment? how tacky. also, we need a computer. because brock is a corporate whore. the line of thinking doesn't match up in writing, but there is logic behind that statement.

i brought some of those frozen pizza roles from M&Ms for lunch and can't wait to eat them.

hm. oh, today is march and i had no money for a metropass because payday is TOMORROW assfaces, so i wanted to buy 2 tickets. and i asked the guy for tickets. and i guess he heard 5 student tickets. so now i have 5 student tickets, which are apparently quite cheap and pretty much the same cost as 2 regular tickets. i was confused, but got over it.

i am sadly hooked on the muchmusic vj search. i missed amazing race last night, and also gilmore girls. tuesday is the only night i really watch television, but i was too busy bugging brock and freaking out with ADD to sit down and watch television.

at night time i pretend i'm a vampire to freak brock out. it works. also if i make a dentisty drilling noise and randomly poke him. or turn off all the lights in the bathroom and close the door and eerily say bloody mary three times. last night i grabbed my leather glove and started tormenting brock pretending the hand belonged to an axe murderer. i have a pretty good monster voice. its kinda like the orcs from lord of the rings. it is fun to go out with someone who scares easily. it gives me a good venting mechanism for my sadistic streak.